How You Can Prepare Yourself for Marriage

 | Wills

If you are a commitment phobe, there is literally nothing in this world that can prepare you for marriage. Even if you have a friend or a well-wisher who is blessed with infinite wisdom, you will simply turn a deaf ear to them.

But if you’re caught somewhere between wanting to run away and wanting to go on, then this article is definitely for you. If it is the thought that maybe you haven’t adequately prepared yourself for it, following are certain things that you can do to prepare yourself for your marriage that is fast approaching.

Put your habits under the scanner

Depending on how critical your partner is of your habits, the slightest wrong that you do can be blown up to sound like the biggest problem ever. The transition being somewhat similar to placing an ant put under the lens of a microscope. Now your partner may want you to believe that what you see is the actual size of the ant but you know what’s the truth.

If you believe yourself to be the benchmark of perfection it may be time to take a close second look, ask your close friends what they honestly think about your habits. The results may surprise you.

If you’re aware of your flaws but believe that it is not something that makes the thought of cohabiting a space with you ardently repulsive then you have the green light. But if you believe that there is a scope for improvement you should do everything you can to make it bearable.

Re-evaluate your conflict resolution style

Usually people have a defined way of resolving conflicts. Those who are ignorant and happy-go-lucky avoid the conflict altogether. Those who are submissive give in immediately. The argumentative ones stand their ground no matter what the fight snowballs into.

The still healthier styles of resolving conflict is to strike a compromise and collaborate. People who adopt these techniques while dealing with fights are more likely to be successful in their marriage.

Their ‘other-first’ mentality is bound to soften the hardest of the hearts. They try to understand what causes the other person to react in the way that they do and try to understand their perspective.

They do not have an incessant need to be the right person in the room and care very little for their personal reputation.

Don’t take yourself too seriously

Now, it may be a personal preference but for most, living with a person who is able to laugh at himself is a lot easier than the person who is too scared to put himself out there. Laughing at our flaws, mistakes and shortcomings helps us to maintain a positive mindset even in difficult times and this attitude can be quite beneficial in marriage.

Seek Opportunities to Serve

It may sound like the definition of a perfect marriage (which probably doesn’t exist) but each partner must have the willingness to assign greater importance to their spouse’s needs than that of their own. Even if you are single now you can make this a habit by setting out to serve others in your community.

Those who always place others before their own self, are less inclined to fight for the sake of proving a point and you know that they have the maturity to take the right steps in any situation.

Friendship Inventory

Each of us have a small community around us. It is made up of our friends, family, co-workers or classmates. Having a support system that encourages and helps you later when you get married is extremely important. You should evaluate if your friends value marriage, share your view of the opposite sex and treat you so gently that they are unwilling to draw your attention to your flaws.

If your friends score high on these counts then you will have a great support system to fall back on if your marriage hits a rough spot. But if your friends are nowhere close to the right answers then you should try having a heart to heart conversation with them.

Getting married is a huge decision and one that should be taken only after due consideration. You should also secure your wealth and future by putting in place all important documents such as a Will using a free online Will kit.